Healthy Wealthy & Wise Dr. William T. Choctaw, MD, JD

Bernie Brown's Path to Success: Conquering the Ghetto and Beyond

Dr. William Choctaw Season 1 Episode 25

Ready for an inspirational journey? Join us as we sit down with Bernie Brown, a man who rose from the harsh realities of ghetto life to achieve personal and professional success. Bernie candidly shares his life story, imparting the powerful lessons learned along the way. Parents navigating the tough terrain of raising children in the ghetto will find his advice essential. Hear about his trials, triumphs, and the pivotal role 'Law of Success' by Napoleon Hill played in shaping his path to success.

In the second half of our conversation, Bernie takes us deeper into his worldview, detailing how parenting, positivity, and tenacity intertwine. Emphasizing the pursuit of excellence, he sheds light on the importance of seeking help when needed and how parents can foster confidence in their children. Not one to shy away from tough topics, Bernie lays bare the stark realities of black-on-black crime, but importantly, he discusses strategies to break this cycle. Tune in to this transformative conversation brimming with hope, resilience, and invaluable life lessons.

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The Host, Dr. William Choctaw; MD, JD, is a healthcare leadership expert, possessing a Medical Doctorate from the Yale University School of Medicine, and a Jurist Doctorate from Western University. Over a span of 50 years practicing medicine, he has served as Chief of Staff, Chief of Surgery, and as a member of the medical executive committee at Citrus Valley Medical Center over a 10 year period. Also, while practicing at Citrus Valley Medical Center, he served as Chief Transformation Officer, (developed a Robust Process Improvement/Lean Six Sigma program). Dr. Choctaw lectures nationally and internationally on medical leadership issues for hospital staffs, executives, and managers. He served as a Physician Surveyor on the Joint Commission. He's the author of 2 books, "Medical Malpractice: A Physician's Guide to the Law" and "Transforming the Patient Experience: A New Paradigm for Hospital and Physician Leadership, published by the Springer Publishing Co. He’s the President of Choctaw Medical Group, Inc., a clinical practice and medical legal consulting firm for medical staff executives, physician leaders, and hospitals.

Speaker 1:

Welcome to the Healthy, Wealthy and Wise podcast with Dr William Chokta, MDJD. Our mission is to empower you with the knowledge and the tools you need to thrive in all aspects of your life. Join us now as we discuss everything from nutrition and exercise to money management and personal growth. Dr Chokta will provide insightful advice on how to improve your physical and financial health, as well as your emotional and mental well-being. Whether you're looking to boost your energy levels, unlock financial freedom or cultivate a more positive mindset, we've got you covered. Get ready to become the best version of yourself? So let's get started. Here's Dr William Chokta, MDJD.

Speaker 2:

Good morning, Welcome to the Healthy, Wealthy and Wise podcast. I'm Dr William Chokta and I will be your host today. Each month, we strive to provide our listeners with mental, physical and spiritual strength by giving actionable advice, tips, guidance and information to help you to achieve your own personal, professional and spiritual goals. We consider the health of the mind, body and spirit paramount as a single unit that can provide a cumulative strength greater than the individual parts to strengthen the whole person. So sit back and relax. We have a very, very special guest with us today, the distinguished Bernie Brown, so welcome.

Speaker 3:

Bernie, Welcome. Thank you for having me.

Speaker 2:

Oh, you're very very welcome, bernie, and I go way back, but I've had a number of reasons for wanting Bernie on our podcast One. He has a distinguished career and I certainly just start off with wanting him to sort of touch on his upbringing advice he would have for those of you who are listening, both young and older. And then the latter part of our discussion. He's published a book and we'll have him to give us some thoughts about his book. So, bernie, why don't you just go ahead and start telling us about yourself?

Speaker 3:

Oh, thank you so much. I just want to tell you today I'm feeling healthy, wealthy and wise. I feel really, really, really good today. Thank you for having me Today.

Speaker 3:

I would like to talk to you about how to survive and thrive in the ghetto. The life we knew in the ghetto is kids is quite different from what kids experience today, but the challenges that they face are pretty much absolutely the same, and so what I'd like to talk to you about is how to raise a child. I'd like to send out advice to parents and raise their children so that they survive and thrive in the ghetto and in life in general. There's two aspects to this. As you know, my name is Bernie Brown. I'm an attorney. I'm a retired assistant city attorney for the city of Los Angeles, my son is a medical doctor, my daughter is an attorney and my wife is a judge, so I've been through a lot. I got a lot of this legal and medical stuff all around me. I'm blessed in that way, but I wanted to tell you about life in the ghetto first, because in order to learn how to survive in the ghetto, you've got to understand and experience what I went through in the ghetto. First of all the experience we had in the ghetto was so different. I grew up on a street with about 15 children and we're all young kids in the ghetto, and we all played together and interacted together. The thing that was very pervasive in the ghetto are gangs, drugs, alcohol, depression and violence crime and the thing that I learned the most from was that, as children, we all played together. But there was a group of kids that were a little bit older, about two or three years older, and I learned from watching them as they grew up a little bit before I did. So, yes, we played together. We played soccer, ball and kickball and dodgeball and baseball and alley and football in the street and we walked on our hands. We walked half down we have to wait on the street on our hands. We had competition.

Speaker 3:

But I just want to briefly name a few names as to what influenced me. First of all, I'll start with Stanley Williams. Stanley Williams got hooked on drugs and he wound up homeless. Well, in the Tidwell he robbed the. There was a store, a tire store on the corner. He robbed the tire store on the corner they had a security guard inside the security guard dot and killed him. Joe Houston got hooked on heroin and died early. Craig Butler became a dentist. Darryl Gall became a respectable attorney Legal. We became a certified public accountant. Steve Jones committed some crimes and went to jail. Don Riley was a disjockey for a while but he bawled out the boss and he got fired. Harry Dixon was one of the most brilliant kids in our group but he got involved with some criminal activity. He went to jail. Jay Howard got involved in alcoholism, became homeless.

Speaker 3:

I'm just telling you briefly about these people because their experience has taught me about life and about what you can expect in life and what you have to avoid in life, because the things that are there, that were there then, are still there now Gangs, drugs, crime, depression, anger and violence all still there. But at some point in my life two things happened to me. One thing that happened to me my dad had a part-time janitorial business and he took me after school every day with him to mop floors, cleaning toilets, cleaning up offices in the garment district and I got to interact with adults that were working in those factories and you saw some adults that liked the job but others that were trapped in the job. They had families, they needed a job. They didn't have any other qualifications, they were stuck there. Now keep in mind, at 14 years old, in the eighth grade, having this experience to see the workplace in advance.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 3:

Now, at some point later, I started reading every book I could on how to succeed Everything. I couldn't soak up enough of it on how to succeed in life.

Speaker 3:

My favorite book, by the way, is Law of Success by Napoleon Hill but in any of it I read that that's a magnificent book Starts off crazy, but it gets better as it goes. And I boiled it down to three basic principles for success. Now the principles are complex, simple but complex. First principle is total positive fault. That is, it starts in your mind, believing in yourself, believing that you can achieve whatever it is you want to achieve, and telling yourself there's a thing called auto-suggestion. You're constantly talking to yourself so you're telling yourself I can do this, I can, I can, I can. You visualize yourself doing it and you believe, you state affirmation daily that you can do whatever it is your goal is to do so. The second principle is total positive action. It's one thing to conceive the thought in your mind, but it's the second thing is to take action on the positive thought you have. And then the third principle is persevering, never giving up. You're gonna face some defeat, there's gonna be some difficulties along the way, but you have to teach your children, we have to teach our children never give up. And that includes faith and faith in God, faith in yourself and faith in God. If you combine all these principles, your children and you will succeed in life. But there's a little bit of a nuance, a little bit of a curve ball here, because surviving in the ghetto, as we've heard, can be a little bit more difficult. It can be a little bit more complicated.

Speaker 3:

So, as a parent, there are certain things that I recommend that a parent does. We'll start. They're not necessarily in order of important, but first watch your children's friend. Friends have an influence on the child and you want them to stay away from gang bangers or crazy view of you know kids. That will be a bad influence. At some point every child will face the situation and you wanna tell them. Somebody is gonna come to them. Probably one of their friends is gonna say hey, man, hey, come on, let's go do these jurors, let's go drink this alcohol, let's go do this, let's go rob this store. Now we've just heard from the stories I told you, real life stories of the consequences of action.

Speaker 3:

But the most important thing is monitor your kid's friends and generally it's better to have your kids or, if you can, to associate with successful people. I mean successful kids, nerdy kids, good kids, honest kids, church kids, you know. Have them associate with good people. That will help them in their life and motivate them to achieve success in their life. Now, as a parent, be a good image for your child. It's one thing to tell your child don't do this, don't do that, don't do this. But as a parent, they look at you and they see what you are doing and they copy you. And so if you're using profanity, cursing, advocating violence, criminal activity, not doing a church, not doing anything, you know, then the thing is be a good image for your child so that they wanna be like you. You know another thing, so so, so, so very important is reading, reading.

Speaker 3:

Teach your child at a young age to love to read and how you do that. You read to them. You start reading to them when they're very, very young. You say why do you read to them? They're very, very young. You say why do we do that? Because every college admissions test is reading, comprehension. It's based on reading, comprehension, acquired knowledge. And what does reading do? It gives you both of those comprehension and acquired knowledge. And when a child, it's clearly known from all the data that readers perform well on college admissions test. So you want to get your child at a very young age, read to them, make it a fun experience so that they associate joy with it, so that they want to do it and enjoy doing it. Now it's not enough to teach them to be smart, especially in the ghetto. You got to try to teach them to if they can avoid conflict.

Speaker 3:

Yes avoid it. Certainly you don't want them to. You tell don't put this, don't be in a gang, don't commit a crime, don't do drugs. Now you can tell them that, but you should give like. I was able to give my kids examples of what will happen to them if they do that Right, and you as a doctor know all these kids overdosing on all these drugs, it can have devastating, life-threatening Events. So you definitely want to teach them that and you want to teach them to respect People, respect everybody, right, respect their elders. I know it sounds crazy, but respect the police. Yeah, I mean, we hear now about the police killing young African-Americans. I hate to have to admit this, but it's been going on for years.

Speaker 3:

Yes, when I was a child, I didn't mention this incident. About ten years old one of the older kids I heard it outside. I heard the alarms, the police alarms, and then I heard the car screeching and then I heard get out the car, get out the car. And I was looking out the window and it was a guy from around the street who had stolen a car and the police kept saying get out the car. And then next thing I hear pop up out and I ducked after that and the police is shot and killed him. Now they said he tried to run over them. I don't know. I don't think so, but anyway, the lesson is who wanted? There's a whole bunch of lessons from that. Do not run from the police, you know. Do not confront the police and do not commit a crime. So teach this to your children and Then also teach your children. You know, in many families in my family Well, in many families, I should say parents teach their children. It's expected that you are going to college.

Speaker 2:

Yes, that's not a question yes.

Speaker 3:

Option yes, not a yes right. It's not an option. You're right, that's the correct word. You're in college and that's it.

Speaker 2:

Well, you know, everybody's not college material. And I said but did you go to high school? You know, if you can finish high school, if you can get a GED, you can go to college. You know that absolutely. Yeah, that only certain people of college material. I think it's absolutely hogwash.

Speaker 3:

Yes, yes, this is absolutely true If you apply yourself. I absolutely agree. Everybody can go to college and it's getting worse and worse. It you know, when I was young they used to say, well, if you go to college, you know you get a better, you get a better judgment about job. But it's getting to the point now where I mean you virtually won't be able to get any job, I mean except for the lowest laborer job. I, like I said, I did that as a child and I Committed to myself I don't want to do this for the rest of my life. But there's nothing wrong with it, like you said, right, nothing wrong with it. If you're happy with it, if the child is happy with it, it's a good, honest life and so that's fine. But I Would also teach your children to tell the truth, to keep in mind that. Not let anything Stunk them. Keep fighting on.

Speaker 3:

I'm at when I was at UCLA, there was a professor and she was Hispanic. She was the youngest professor in At the University the young, and she was one of the only Hispanics. And I'm looking at her like he's Hispanic and she's very, very young. How did she become a professor at this, you know, at this Ivy League University, okay. And so I asked her one day at the class and she said to me she said, bernie, you've got a thirst for it. You got a one. It's so hard. You got a fight boy. You know, you got it. Give it everything you want and I'm like motivation. Yes, hold a positive thought, hold a positive in and never giving a first of bearing. You know, working hard and and being committed.

Speaker 3:

Going to church I believe that going to church was very helpful. As a young child I would the Sunday school like Every day. My mother didn't have to ask me to go to Sunday school. I enjoyed going to Sunday school because I'd love to ask the Sunday school teacher Questions that I figured they couldn't answer. You know I'd come from, you know, but it taught me ethics.

Speaker 3:

Yes, you know and moral, even if you don't believe in, even if you don't believe in God. It taught me family and tradition and ethics and moral and love and respect. You know, yes, I do recommend going to church, and Sometimes some children. Oh, by the way, you see that from the greatest, the people who have it, the greatest accomplishment started young. Yes, you know, like you see the Tiger Woods, and Not necessarily that you want to be a Tiger Woods, but the people who are the many of them who are the greatest in their profession, started the children, practicing and developing and and then you can study. So I do recommend that Working hard, practice, practice, practice whatever it is, practice, practice, practice at whatever it is you want to do, because my daddy used to say Be the best, whatever it is, you do be the best.

Speaker 3:

And I think, Martin Luther King said that too. So I think that's a good principle to live by To always be the best, to strive, and especially for the ghetto, shall we say, south Central, where I grew up, if you can't avoid conflict too. I had to tell my son this. I said to me I said, son, at a very young age about you know, it is early teens. I said, son, what's the greatest threat to you? Who's the greatest threat to you? And he looked at me puzzled like Well, dad, I don't want to say. I said, son, I'm sorry to have to tell you this, but the greatest threat to you is another black man. Now, that's terrible. I'm staying this on your show.

Speaker 3:

I understand Black on black crime is terrible, and we killed more of each other than the police ever killed, right? And the bottom line is we killed and I can tell you today, right now, that if I had not moved out of the ghetto I probably would not have survived. There were a few guys that didn't like me and would have probably at some point gotten a nerve to put it to me. So anyway, I think that's all good advice Listen to wise people. I suggest you advise your kids to listen to wise people and, like I said before, fight for success. If they need counseling, if they need tutors, get them a counselor. Get them a tutor, work with them, be your child's best friend. Yeah, get them to trust you, get them to always tell the truth, always feel that, no matter what's going on, they can come and talk to you.

Speaker 2:

You know, one of the things that we see, Bernie and I've seen this and you probably have too that the kids at a very young age need confidence in themselves. You know, I've seen parents who are going through very difficult times and many times it's irrespective of where they live and they're having a rough life, and so then they sort of take that rough life out on the kids. You know, maybe you're old at work, you're no good, you're not very smart, stupid, whatever. So when they get home and they get frustrated, they then say those things to their kids. And so I give talks to folks.

Speaker 2:

I said be careful what you say to your children as an adult, as a parent. They made a mistake or they didn't do something correctly, but they should never question their character. They should never say you will never amount to anything or whatever, because children will believe what their parents tell them. So I try to caution parents to be very careful and like your father and your mother, you know they helped you. Your father took you with him, so he respected you and wanted you by his side. And this is where sometimes I think we parents can do a better job of just making sure that our kids have confidence in themselves.

Speaker 3:

Absolutely. That is so well stated my dad. At some point he left the family. I took over the janitorial business and that goes toward the point of you know you're going to have some difficulty. Yes, and I worked my way through college working mopping floors, like I said, and cleaning toilets. My kids hate to hear these stories. They laugh. Dad, are you going to tell us again about mopping floors? But you know it teaches you, learn character and if nothing wrong, you know that floor when I finished it would be spotless clean.

Speaker 2:

Well, I was without a father. I was a single you know single parent child. My mother was a teenager when I was born, so we were farther back. You know, with a lot of things and I became appreciative of going back to your point that if you don't able to, if you aren't able to get that education and in her case you know she got pregnant you know and this gets into the whole different ways that men and women are treated. You know back then you know, if you were a girl, that you got pregnant. You had no other options. You know you brought back to college was probably something even more distant, but yet she put all that in me, her son, and so parents could be very influential in children and in terms of what really happens to them.

Speaker 3:

Absolutely, and as a parent, I think a parent should know their kids were about 24 hours a day. Yeah, and you know, you hear these stories about the kids doing things and the parents not knowing about it. I think, as a parent, part of the responsibility is to know the style where they're at, what they're doing 24 hours a day. But I think it's an important thing too, and when you talk to your children, you can't force them Right. You can't speak to them logically, intelligently and explain to them the likely consequences of their act. If you just say you're gonna do this and you're gonna do this and you're gonna do this A lot of times, I think that backfire.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 3:

I think it's better if you tell them well, look, if you do this, these are the possible consequences, this is what can happen to you, and I think they can be trusted to make the right decision when the time come, when the time come.

Speaker 2:

I think that's so important. One of the things I've learned is that when I screw up or when I make a mistake, I've started learning. I learned how to start apologizing to my kids. I had sons, primarily, and again that showed them a certain respect that I too can make mistakes. I'm human and I was trying to teach them by example. You know that if you make a mistake, you know being a dode, or you know hold up up to it and move on. It's not the end of the world.

Speaker 3:

Right? Yes, I think too. You know, sometimes, I think a lot of times, you'll notice in your child they're innate talent. Yes, they nurture those talents. Yes, I think some children well all children have certain innate talent. The interesting thing I'll give you an example. My daughter told my son to join the football team. My son is skinny as a toothpick and he's very sweaty. I was like what football team for? And he joined the football team. They put him on the C team. You know the C team. So I said, son, you know you're pretty fast, why don't you consider being a runner? And he took up running and he said, hey, this is like okay, right, so you can kind of guide them on a path that could be better for them and nurture them and whatever is more inclined toward their innate talent and skill, exactly. But having said that, there's one other point I want to make.

Speaker 2:

Okay.

Speaker 3:

A lot of people think that certain people are just innately smart, and that's not necessarily true.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 3:

People get smart, and I'm not the doctor, but and I know this is a bad characterization but the brain is like a muscle.

Speaker 2:

It is.

Speaker 3:

You exercise it by studying and learning, is going to get smarter.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 3:

And I know so many people and I had the same conversation. I don't want to name names or one of my relatives who think that they are not smart and can't learn. Yes, they don't believe in themselves. And I remember telling my relatives you can do this, you just got to read the book, you can pass this test, you will get this job Right. And he's like no, no, you're smart, you're the smarter. When I can't do this, nobody's innately smart.

Speaker 3:

One of the things I saw in my neighborhood I was jogging. I jog all around the neighborhood and one day I was jogging around the neighborhood and I come on this office complex there may be a strip mall Right and it was an office. I'm sorry, I'm going to do this. There's a whole room full of Asian kids in there. It's Saturday morning, yes, and all these Asian kids are in there and I'm ducking and I say, oh, what's going on? And they say, well, we're having class. This is a tutorial class. Oh, I might want to get my kids. And we meet every Saturday from like nine to 2am. We study and say, if you can't do it on Saturday, we do it after school too. So a lot of people I know in my neighborhood. Growing up thought that Asians were innately smart, Right.

Speaker 3:

They were smart, they're just smart. I should say that they're just studying, right? Yes, studying, you can be just as smart as they are. Yes, if you study, just read and study. So I just wanted to make that point. I think that's the important point that should be made.

Speaker 1:

Thanks for listening to the healthy, wealthy and wise podcast with Dr William Choctaw, mdjd. We hope you enjoyed this episode. In fact, if you found this episode helpful, you can support and subscribe to the podcast on your favorite podcast platform with the keywords Dr William Choctaw, and you'll find it very quickly. Also, subscribing helps ensure that you don't miss any future episodes. And then take the next step of action and share it with your family, friends and or your coworkers. They'll be glad you did so. Until the next time, live your best possible life the best possible way. Thanks for listening to the healthy, wealthy and wise podcast with Dr William Choctaw, mdjd.

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