Healthy Wealthy & Wise Dr. William T. Choctaw, MD, JD
The Healthy Wealthy and Wise Podcast, with Dr. William T. Choctaw, MD, JD is a monthly podcast that focuses on personal growth and development by exploring a range of topics related to mental and physical health, personal wealth, leadership, and interpersonal relationships. Dr. Choctaw draws on his 75yrs experience and 50 plus years of surgical practice since graduating from Yale University School of Medicine.
Each month, we strive to provide our listeners with mental, physical, and spiritual strength by giving actionable advice, tips, guidance, and information to help them achieve their own personal, professional, and spiritual goals. We consider the health of the mind, body, and spirit paramount as a single unit that provides a cumulative strength greater than the individual parts, to strengthen the whole person.
We appreciate the natural differences in need between men, women, adults, and children. We recognize that the power to be happy is within each of us and under our control. We embrace technology and identify how it is applicable to our daily success. We address the entire human experiences from generation z to the baby boomers.
We’re passionate about the total person, and helping our listeners build and lead a full, well-rounded and happy life. So, tune in every month for an inspiring, encouraging, and informative podcast!
Healthy Wealthy & Wise Dr. William T. Choctaw, MD, JD
Amanda: How my Mother's Love Propelled Me to Become a Surgeon!
Have you ever wondered what it takes to become a surgeon? Today, I, Dr. William Choctaw, take you through my personal journey to the operating room and the influential role my mother, Amanda, played in helping me get there. Despite her own educational journey being cut short, her resilience and wisdom became my stepping stones to success. Together, let's dispel some common educational myths and affirm the significance of consistent learning in our lives.
Now, let's shift gears and explore the power of words, the courage needed to overcome life's hurdles, and the critical role humility plays in our lives. The joy of small acts of gratitude and the discussion around mental health wellness promises to be transformative. And remember, perfection is not the key to success and happiness. Instead, let's focus on how our mistakes offer valuable learning opportunities and how our beliefs mold our thoughts, feelings, and actions. So come along, and let's uncover the roadmap to success and happiness, marked by diligence, determination, and sacrifice.
Healthcare Quality Leadership Education Group
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The Host, Dr. William Choctaw; MD, JD, is a healthcare leadership expert, possessing a Medical Doctorate from the Yale University School of Medicine, and a Jurist Doctorate from Western University. Over a span of 50 years practicing medicine, he has served as Chief of Staff, Chief of Surgery, and as a member of the medical executive committee at Citrus Valley Medical Center over a 10 year period. Also, while practicing at Citrus Valley Medical Center, he served as Chief Transformation Officer, (developed a Robust Process Improvement/Lean Six Sigma program). Dr. Choctaw lectures nationally and internationally on medical leadership issues for hospital staffs, executives, and managers. He served as a Physician Surveyor on the Joint Commission. He's the author of 2 books, "Medical Malpractice: A Physician's Guide to the Law" and "Transforming the Patient Experience: A New Paradigm for Hospital and Physician Leadership, published by the Springer Publishing Co. He’s the President of Choctaw Medical Group, Inc., a clinical practice and medical legal consulting firm for medical staff executives, physician leaders, and hospitals.
Welcome to the healthy, wealthy and wise podcast with Dr William Chokta, mdjd. Our mission is to empower you with the knowledge and the tools you need to thrive in all aspects of your life. Join us now as we discuss everything from nutrition and exercise to money management and personal growth. Dr Chokta will provide insightful advice on how to improve your physical and financial health, as well as your emotional and mental well-being. Whether you're looking to boost your energy levels unlike financial freedom or cultivate a more positive mindset, we've got you covered. Get ready to become the best version of yourself? So let's get started. Here's Dr William Chokta, mdjd.
Speaker 2:Good morning. I'm Dr William T Chokta and welcome to the Healthy, wealthy and Wise podcast. Today, we have a very special presentation for you, and it's one that's very personal to me, and so I'm going to share my story, a certain part of my story, as a part of our discussion today. The title of our discussion is Amanda how my Mothers Love Propelled Me to Be a Surgeon. That's correct, amanda how my mother's love prepared me to be a surgeon. As always my beliefs I believe life is about service to others. I believe knowledge is power. I believe leaders can change the world. As always, I'd like to put up a little outline. It gives you an idea about what I'm going to talk about and also, as importantly, it gives you an idea of what I'm just about done. I'm going to start off with a personal story and share some personal information with you about my family and some of my lessons learned over my 75 years of life and my 50-plus years of medical surgical practice. I'm also going to introduce my mother to you very briefly and discuss some things about her. I'm going to talk about some myths in education and about college. The latter part is I'll share some wisdom, some nuggets of wisdom, rather from my life lessons. One of the things that we do frequently is we'd like to divide our discussions into different categories. The category this today is going to be about healthcare and education.
Speaker 2:Well, let me tell you about Amanda. Amanda is my mother. She was born in Mississippi and she and her brother, alfred, came to Tennessee when she was a teenager. My uncle, alfred, had gotten a scholarship and admission to the American Baptist Theological Seminary in Nashville. He bought his sister, his only sibling, with him. My mother, amanda. Amanda is very beautiful, smiles constantly and very friendly. She plays the piano and has a strong faith. I can remember when I was a young child, many, many Sundays we used to walk miles getting to church because obviously we didn't have any other form of vehicular transportation.
Speaker 2:But Amanda, in about the 11th grade, got pregnant and she was pregnant with me. I was a child and so in the 11th grade she had to drop out of school. Now think about this In the late 1940s if you are a girl and you get pregnant, there are no other options for you. Let's drop out of school. There are no remedial classes you can take. There's no GED path that we were aware of that you can take, and so her education had, in effect, a bruntful end at the 11th grade. I can only imagine how traumatic this must have been.
Speaker 2:What's interesting, though, was how she adjusted to that, and one of the ways she adjusted to that was to turn to her son, her firstborn child, me, and to start educating me about what I should and should not do in life. Now, certainly, all parents do that to some extent, but I'm going to submit that she was doing it to a more extreme manner, because one of the things that she told me very early in the earth I can remember is when I was about five. I started school at five because my birthday is in December, and so usually they would give parents the option If your child's birthday is in December, you can start him or her early, or you can wait and then start them the following year. Well, my mother opted to start me at age five, and that was when she first told me that. I remember that I was supposed to be a doctor.
Speaker 2:Now, what was interesting about that discussion is I didn't really know what a doctor was. In my family, we didn't go see doctors. We were too poor. We lived in the rural part of Davidson County in Nashville, tennessee, and I never saw a doctor that I can remember growing up. We got sick. My mother took us to the lady down the street and she did whatever she did. The lady did and we felt better. So I never really had any interaction with physicians when I was growing up Sorry, not in elementary school, but she drilled that into me I want you to be a doctor, I want you to be a doctor.
Speaker 2:And I said, ok, yes, ma'am, the cats use you. The response sorry, down south, when your mother tells you she wants you to just stop it. And so, in essence, what she was saying was I want you to go to school, in high school and graduate from high school. I want you to graduate from college and I want you to graduate from medical school. And it's amazing to me, when I look back, that this 17-year-old girl, who clearly was dealing with one of the most traumatic events in her young life, was able to pivot and put that into her child and to start putting him on a path of success and achievement and health care. And in fact, she gave me a roadmap. She said this is what I want you to do.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it may seem strange, but I found that really very helpful as I got older, because when I was very, very young, people used to say, well, what are you going to be when you grow up? And I said, oh, I'm going to be a doctor. And everybody seemed to be very happy when I said that, and a lot of times early on I did not understand why, but I noticed that I always brought a smile to people's faces, so I always saw it as I enjoyed saying it, but I had no idea, obviously, early on, what it meant. As I got older, then I began to understand the task that had been assigned to me and the assignment that my mother had given me, and how extraordinary that assignment was, dawning though it may be and sometimes I wonder why my mother thought that way, part of it may be my mother had what's called grand mal epilepsy, meaning that she would have epileptic seizures periodically.
Speaker 2:I don't know whether she was taking medication for it or not, quite honestly, but I know it would occur periodically and what she would do. She taught me at a very young age what to do when that occurred. She taught me how to put things in our mouths so that she wouldn't die of retomb. She taught me how to keep people away from her so that they would not injure her in any way. Quite honestly, most of the time, if we were out in public let's say we were in a store and she were to fall out on the floor and have a grand mal seizure most people were afraid and they would sort of stand around and watch, but they would not intervene.
Speaker 2:And part of my job was to keep them away from her Because these issues would last a very short period of time. She would then end up what we call a post-ictal state and then she would be OK. But for whatever the reason, this was the road at H5 that my mother had started me on. So one of the things that I want to start off with also is to define what education is. I can remember I think it was Einstein who said if I had 60 minutes to solve a problem, I would spend 55 minutes defining that problem and five minutes solving the problem, and I take that same approach when I am trying to understand something I try to define it first. So my definition of education is receiving information that changes behavior, receiving information that changes behavior.
Speaker 2:Now, you may receive this information by sitting and listening to it. You may be sitting in a classroom and you may be watching and listening to it. You may read a book, et cetera, et cetera, but you're receiving information that has input of information into you. That, then, and the second component of that, is that it changes your behavior. Well, what I want to do is approach the issue of education by discussing some of the myths of education. As you might imagine, I'm a strong believer and everybody should receive an education. I think everybody should go to college, but we'll get to that a bit later. But what are the myths about going to college? Particularly is that you have to be very smart to go. Now, there's no question that people who go to college are smart, but you do not have to be a genius. I certainly am not and was not a genius when I went to college, at least I don't think I was. I'm pretty sure I wasn't. But you basically have to be willing to work. You have to be willing to work hard and you have to be willing to stay focused. Another myth is that you have to be wealthy to go to college. You do not have to be wealthy to go to college. I certainly was not wealthy. There are many resources available to you. If you have committed to getting an education, a collegiate education, many individuals will help you, many organizations will help you. Many of the colleges themselves will help you. I remember one of the main organizations that helped me to go to college was the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation. I always remembered that organization and to this day I am grateful for the help and support they gave me in the form of a fellowship that allowed me to I actually go to medical school and the extreme of post-graduate education. So there are many organizations like the churches. My church when I was in high school was helpful in helping me to go to college, financially, I mean. So there are a lot of resources out there. It's just a matter of identifying those resources and finding the ones that meet your needs. So certainly not having money is not an excuse not to go to college.
Speaker 2:The other myth another myth is that you got to have connections to go to college. You got to know somebody to get in. Well, that's not true. That is a myth. Now I do realize that there was a big discussion or issue some years ago about some people in Hollywood, california or Los Angeles, california, who paid a lot of money to get their kids to go to Stanford or some of these other schools, maybe even some of the UC schools. But the reality is you do not need connections to go to college. Another myth is that college is just too expensive for most people. Well, there's no question that college is expensive. It does cost money, but it's not too expensive. Again, there are resources available to you and you can also work. There's what's called what used to be called work study. They may have a different name for it now, but my point is there are a number of different modalities to allow you to go to college, and the reason, one of the reasons for that is serving the last 50 years, a large percentage of the people who were going to college are clearly not from wealth agreements, not from individuals who had connections, and so a lot of those resources have grown and multiplied significantly to allow you to pursue that graduate education should you choose to.
Speaker 2:Another myth is and they may not decide on that is that very, very poor people don't go to college, and this sort of touches another myth which I think is even more sinister. This is that whole idea. Well, everybody's not college material. I strongly disagree with that. If you can graduate from high school, you can go to college. If you can get your GED, you can go to college and graduate also. And this whole idea that well, I'm just not college material, well, I'm just not. I'm not. It's like part of that, smart enough, but it's a little more than that. It's almost suggestive of a cultural type of level. Well, I'm just not at that level.
Speaker 2:I want to dismiss that myth for you. Everybody can go to college, everybody can go to college. And again, if you can go to high school, if you can go to junior high school, you can go to college. I might even take it a step farther and say college is a necessity and you can never be too old to go. Let me say that again College is a necessity, I think, for everybody, adult and children, and you're never too old to go. And you might say oh, come on, dr Choctaw, I'm 60 years old. You can go to college at 60 years old, 60 years of age.
Speaker 2:Let me put it a different way If you have a cell phone, you can go to college. Let me say that again If you have a cell phone, you can go to college and I'm going to bet that 90 to 95% of the people listening to this podcast right now you have a cell phone in your pocket. So if you have a cell phone, you can go to college. Why? Because you can download the app or the college that you want to attend and then sign up for that course on your cell phone and actually attend class on your cell phone. One of the things that the pandemic some years ago has expanded for us is the use of education online, because for a number of years in this country, individuals were not able to go for the most part in person. So if you have a cell phone, you can go to college. College is about intentionality, it's about courage and it's about focus, education and learning never stop.
Speaker 2:Now somebody asked okay, dr Chaltar, you said that your mother was responsible for you decided to go to medical school, but why in the world did you decide to be a surgeon? Well, my mother did not tell me to be a surgeon, but when I started medical school in 1969, my attitude was I want to take the most difficult, the most challenging field possible in the area of medicine, and to me that was surgery. The other thing that I liked about surgery was a certain degree of certainty. At least, I sort of felt that there was a certain degree of certainty 50 years ago when I started medical school, so that was really why I decided to go into surgery instead of intramedicine, pediatric, psychiatry, some other areas. So let me share with you some nuggets of wisdom that I have gleaned over my 75 years of existence, and including my 50 plus years as a physician.
Speaker 2:The start of this one set the beginning of wisdom is the definition of terms, and one of the things I have definitely learned is that whenever I say something and you'll notice I do it on these parkas is that I frequently will define the words that I use or the meaning that I use. And those definitions are not because I don't think people understand is that I want to be clear about what I mean when I say certain things or what I'm trying to communicate. I would suggest you do something similar. You don't have to necessarily repeat them, but sort of think in your mind when you're listening to someone who's talking, whether it's a class or whether it's just a group, to make sure that those definitions make sense to you, that you're in agreement with them.
Speaker 2:One of the things that I've learned, certainly one of the negatives, is that life really does happen, what I call life. Then things will happen to you in life. You do not necessarily choose to have these things happen, but they will happen. Some of these things will be perceived by you as good, some of them will be perceived by you as bad, but life, by my definition, does happen. So just be aware of that. You cannot predict everything that will happen to you, in spite of your well-made plans. So, then, the issue in life is not to prevent things from happening. The issue is how do you adapt to things that happen in life?
Speaker 2:There used to be a song that was sung in the deep south in the churches, that said something like Lord, please don't move that mountain that's in front of me, just give me the strength to climb it. My point is that there will be things that will happen to you that you cannot prevent, even though you want to, but what you will need is the strength to get past them or to climb over them. I think one of the most important qualities in life to him, believe it or not, is humility. I think humility is the ultimate sign of greatness, if you want to view it that way. What's the difference between humble people and non-humble people? Humble people usually try to help. You can tell they're the ones that are. If you drop something, they'll pick it up. If you need help with packages, they'll be the ones to help you. They're the ones that open the door, etc. Etc.
Speaker 2:I'm always reminded one day when I was in high school and I was student council president in my high school, I went to a relatively small high school in Nashville, tennessee, that was 99-100 percent black, african-american. I ran for student council president in one. So I'd given a speech and I remember coming back up to the speech and I was feeling very, very good. I was taking histories my next class and I went into my history class and my teacher, mrs Adams very nice lady, she was one of my favorite teachers. She always took care and interest in giving me advice and as did other teachers. One of the bits of advice she gave me was, she said, mrs Choctaw. She said be kind to the people you meet on your way up, because you will meet those same people on your way down. What she was saying to me was stay humble, stay humble, I don't care what you're going through. I don't care how good you feel, I don't care what accomplishments you think you have achieved. Stay humble, because indeed you're in a world with other people and you need to be cognizant of that so that you can help them and so they can also help you.
Speaker 2:The joy of the giving there's an absolute joy in giving, and it could be anything from giving five cents to giving a kind word, giving a smile, giving a handshake, giving a hug, giving two words that I think are not used nearly enough thank you, just say thank you. This is one of the things I particularly learned in my practice as a surgeon. I many times would operate on patients and the patients, in particular those patients who had limited resources, and particularly the ones who were older, the more elderly patients. They would want to give me something and they want to give me something that was important to them, personal to them. I would have some patients who were giving me crosses and other type of things that they thought were important, but they wanted to share it.
Speaker 2:Some would want to fix food for me. They would say well, doctor, do you like tamales, do you like cake, do you like whatever, whatever. And I used to say, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's okay, that's okay, that's okay. But I finally understood that it's important not only to give to others, it's important to allow others the privilege of giving to you, that there is a joy in giving. And let's say you've done an operation or whatever on someone and they said doctor, I just want to. I'm very good at fixing tamales and I want to bring you a plate of tamales which would you accept it? I've learned to say thank you.
Speaker 2:Yes, mrs So-and-so, mrs So-and-so, thank you, and just by saying those two words I have given them the opportunity to give to me, and I've learned that that's many times as important as the joy of giving. I have been given to other people, and so I would pass that on to you, and most of the times, the smallest things are the ones that are most important, and sometimes the most important gift you can give someone is just say thank you, thank you, and you'd be amazed how that may make somebody stay because most of the times, we don't know what other people are going through and the whole thing.
Speaker 2:We frequently talk about mental health matters and mental health wellness, if you will. Many times that's an inner reactive process, and so we have a role that is a constant role with humanity and how we can do things that may help that brother or sister, whoever he or she is, whether we know them personally or not. One of the things I love about Down South, when I was down South, is everybody. But you should speak to everybody else. You don't have to know people to speak to. You, just say good morning, how are you? Oh, hi, y'all, depending on the way you wanted to say it, but it was the spirit of communication that I thought was important. I think we as humans, we are community creatures. We sort of need that warmth, I think, of others, to sort of help the makers whole. Another issue that I've learned is, for success and happiness, perfection is not a requirement. Now, that may sound counterintuitive. So well, you worked your heart, you've done all these things, you've passed all these exams and all that, but perfection is not a requirement, and so if you're chasing perfection, then you're chasing the wrong thing. Certainly, we want all to be our best, and that's a different issue. I'll address that. But many times perfection will elude us and that's okay. That's okay Because the success really is in the journey, not the destination. So certainly, we continue to grow, we continue to be as good as we can and we want to be the best. We want to strive to be the best, but if we are not perfect at that particular time, that's okay and we can still have the appropriate level of happiness and success along with that. Now have to say that again you want to always strive to be the best. I never wanted to be the best male doctor. I wanted to be the best doctor. I never wanted to be the best minority doctor. I wanted to be the best doctor, and I would submit to you that your limits should always be the sky, if you will, but have it within context and learn and develop the process of enjoying life along the way, of enjoying life along the way.
Speaker 2:Another thing that I have learned is that you will need help on your journey through life. Whatever that, wherever that journey takes you, you will need help from somebody, and the good news is, somebody will help you. You will need help, whatever your goals are, in somebody. The second part of that is somebody will help you and the people who help you maybe people you know, or they may be people you don't know, and I submit that you've already experienced some of that and but what my suggestion is, pay attention to the people who will help you, particularly the ones you don't know, because that, in effect, I think is a blessing and I think it's something that you should then reciprocate and then give that help to others. So just sort of keep that in mind. Partly that's based on.
Speaker 2:The next principle that I've learned is that most people are basically good. Yeah, I know, bad things happen in the world. It's sort of you listen to the news or you watch TV, or you read a paper or online, etc. Etc. Etc. No question about it. Nevertheless, most people, in my judgment, are basically good, and so, whatever the issue of the day is at that time, it will pass. This, too, should pass away.
Speaker 2:Mistakes represent the best opportunity to learn. Let me say that again Mistakes represent the best opportunity to learn. There's no question that we will all make mistakes, and we always. We have and we probably will continue to make mistakes. So the issue is not to make the mistakes go away 100%. I'm talking about in general now in life but to learn from them to mitigate them, to decrease them, to manage them, and if you're able to do that, not only will that success and happiness increase, but your knowledge will also increase in terms of how to deal with it. This is something you probably familiar with. The hand that locks the cradle really does rule the world, and this goes back to discussion about my mother. There's no question in my life, in my mind, that I would not be where I am today but for her guidance and her idea about what she wanted me to be, that I had adopted as my own goal in life. My belief was if she thinks this much of me, the least I can do is help to prove her right. Let me also say to parents who are listening to me be careful what you say to your children. Be careful what you say to your children, positive or negatively, it will have an effect. It's okay, obviously, to chest size children or to give them direction or guidance, but don't attack them character, don't accuse them of being bad, because many times what you say to your children will come true. Here I am.
Speaker 2:Next, what you believe, and I've said this before. What you believe affects how you think, and how you think affects how you feel, and how you feel affects how you act. So, if things are not going well for you, if you are not feeling well, if you're not happy, if you're a little down, go back and evaluate your beliefs, because it all starts with your beliefs that some belief system is the foundation of all of your present feelings today. The good news is that you have control over your beliefs, so, at the very least, reevaluate them and reevaluate them on a frequent basis, particularly if things are not going well for you, if you don't believe that you're going in the right direction, go back and reevaluate your beliefs. I've done that and I found that many times when I took another look at those beliefs that maybe started 40 years ago. They may not be applicable in 2023. So, again, this is another one of those areas that we have control over that affects how we feel and affects how we act.
Speaker 2:When we look at success, there are no developments that are part of success and or happiness and I'm going to use those terms interchangeably. We're going to have to work hard. There is no quick fix, there is no easy way, and when someone tries to present you with an easy way immediately becomes suspicious, because anything that's worth achieving is going to require some work. You're going to have to be persistent. It's not going to always go smoothly. When you start, you got to be willing to not give up but to be persistent and to stay the course. You got to spend a lot of late nights. You got to work late. You're going to get tired. That goes along with the territory. What you do may be rejected and may be rejected multiple times. That goes along with the territory there may be. They're going to be sacrificed. So you're going to have to make. Maybe you are going to be able to go out to dinner on that time or go to this social event. You may have to study or you may have to finish that project. Discipline You're going to have to discipline your time, especially because a lot of times we want to get things done but we're doing so much and then the time runs away from us.
Speaker 2:Success and happiness also require you're being able to deal with criticism. Everybody's not going to be a fan of you or of your work, and that's okay. That's okay. Sometimes good critics can help you. So just be aware of that, but, more importantly, be aware that that goes along with the territory. You're going to doubt yourself sometimes. Doubts are not a problem. Doubts many times helps you go back and reevaluate and check again to make sure you haven't made any mistakes and make sure that your process is where you want it to be. It's not always going to work. You're going to have some failures, but failure is not to be as long as you don't stop trying. Okay, if you take an exam and you fail that exam 99 times, but you pass it that 100th time, that 100th time that you passed the exam is the only thing that matters. Nobody cares how many times you fail it. So if you fail the exam, take it again if you're able to and risk.
Speaker 2:My experience has been most things that are worth achieving or having usually require some element of risk, usually require some element of risk. My mother, amanda, after prolonged illness, died at age 38. She was I was a sophomore in college at the time my basic principles. God has been charged. I am a physician of faith and I have learned. It is my faith and my belief in God that has sustained me through all the ups and downs that I, along with others, have experienced.
Speaker 2:I don't have any bad days. I decided about 20, 30 years ago I would have no more bad days, and so I do not. I don't sweat the small stuff, and most stuff is small. I've learned to let the little things go. Forgiveness is therapy. I've learned that when things happen or individuals say or do things that I find harmful or distasteful, I've learned to forgive them. And not only does that forgiveness help me, but it also resolves the situation from every different perspective. Final press why everything is a relationship. Relationships are based on three things mutual respect, mutual trust and good communication. Be the change you want to see in the world. And finally, let me say, if you are a young mother who has made some mistakes in life, remember there is hope, and often times that hope is your child. Thank you, mother.
Speaker 1:We made it. Thanks for listening to the Healthy, wealthy and Wise podcast with Dr William Chokhtok, mdjd. We hope you enjoyed this episode. In fact, if you found this episode helpful, you can support and subscribe to the podcast on your favorite podcast platform with the keywords Dr William Chokhtok, and you'll find it very quickly. Also, subscribing helps ensure that you don't miss any future episodes. And then take the next step of action and share it with your family, friends and or your co-workers. They'll be glad you did so. Until the next time, live your best possible life the best possible way. We've been listening to the Healthy, wealthy and Wise podcast with Dr William Chokhtok, mdjd.
